One client, who has given permission to discuss his case, gave me an interesting answer.
We were working on his self-esteem, and one of the things I asked him was how much did he love himself? It was between 30-40%. We had spoken so many times before about how he loves his only son, tries hard to make money to put him through the college he wants to go to, how bad my client felt when it was decreed upon divorce that the son should stay with the mother, whose methods of upbringing my client thought were too judgemental, etc. So, I thought if I ask the client how much he loves his son, then we can do a re-frame, going like this:
I love my son [I expected 80% - 100%];
My son has half my DNA. He is so much like me;
Therefore, I am willing to love myself a little bit more, just as I love my son so much.
So, I started by asking my client how much he loved his son. The answer astounded me - only 40%. When I asked why, the client said something like "Well, he does have many faults".
This was the first time in my life that I had heard a parent say just how little they love their own children. I will not try this tactic in the future with this client, as the lesson I got from it is that maybe when a person does not love themselves as much as they hate themselves, then they are also incapable of fully loving their children. However, experience has shown me that when we learn to love others and accept others more, then our own self-worth goes up.
So, if you ask yourself this question of how much you love your child, and the answer is less than 80%, I suggest the following protocol.
Step 1:
If you have more than one child, do one child at a time, starting first with the one you feel the most love for. Write down a percentage, where 100% is the greatest, how much you love that child.
Step 2:
Tap both as a Setup and Reminder: "Even though I only love my child [put the percentage figure here], I honour my feelings anyway."
Step 3:
Tap both as a Setup and Reminder: "Even though I only love my child [put the percentage figure here], I am willing to love him/her just a little bit more anyway. I am willing to give him/her love when s/he is being good, and I am willing to consider giving him/her love when s/he has done something wrong. Even if this is challenging for me, I honour my feelings anyway."
Step 4:
Re-assess how much you love that child again. Repeat daily with each child until you feel that you love each child at least 80%.
If you do not know EFT, that is OK, you can download a free guide from many EFT websites. But even just saying the statements above without EFT can help. The difference that I find EFT makes is that it accelerates the healing process.
I hope this helps you and yours.
We were working on his self-esteem, and one of the things I asked him was how much did he love himself? It was between 30-40%. We had spoken so many times before about how he loves his only son, tries hard to make money to put him through the college he wants to go to, how bad my client felt when it was decreed upon divorce that the son should stay with the mother, whose methods of upbringing my client thought were too judgemental, etc. So, I thought if I ask the client how much he loves his son, then we can do a re-frame, going like this:
I love my son [I expected 80% - 100%];
My son has half my DNA. He is so much like me;
Therefore, I am willing to love myself a little bit more, just as I love my son so much.
So, I started by asking my client how much he loved his son. The answer astounded me - only 40%. When I asked why, the client said something like "Well, he does have many faults".
This was the first time in my life that I had heard a parent say just how little they love their own children. I will not try this tactic in the future with this client, as the lesson I got from it is that maybe when a person does not love themselves as much as they hate themselves, then they are also incapable of fully loving their children. However, experience has shown me that when we learn to love others and accept others more, then our own self-worth goes up.
So, if you ask yourself this question of how much you love your child, and the answer is less than 80%, I suggest the following protocol.
Step 1:
If you have more than one child, do one child at a time, starting first with the one you feel the most love for. Write down a percentage, where 100% is the greatest, how much you love that child.
Step 2:
Tap both as a Setup and Reminder: "Even though I only love my child [put the percentage figure here], I honour my feelings anyway."
Step 3:
Tap both as a Setup and Reminder: "Even though I only love my child [put the percentage figure here], I am willing to love him/her just a little bit more anyway. I am willing to give him/her love when s/he is being good, and I am willing to consider giving him/her love when s/he has done something wrong. Even if this is challenging for me, I honour my feelings anyway."
Step 4:
Re-assess how much you love that child again. Repeat daily with each child until you feel that you love each child at least 80%.
If you do not know EFT, that is OK, you can download a free guide from many EFT websites. But even just saying the statements above without EFT can help. The difference that I find EFT makes is that it accelerates the healing process.
I hope this helps you and yours.
© Suzanne Zacharia 2013. My name is Suzanne Zacharia and I am
committed to spreading the word about health options. I believe that the
more and better options one has, the more choice there is. And of
course, you are advised to consult with your medical practitioner before
embarking on any course of alternative, complementary, or beauty
therapy. Want to use this article? You can, as long as you credit me
with it and invite your readers to get my FREE "EFT How-to for You" and
regular free EFT Tapping script samples in my newsletter at http://www.EFT-Scripts.com - New to EFT? No worries, just get your own copy of "EFT How-to for You" and start EFTing with ease very soon!
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